Updated: May 27, 2021
I pulled this card Initiation by Fire and immediately saw a phoenix and heard the song ¨32 Flavours¨ by Ani DiFranco blasting in my head I sat with this for over a week trying to decipher this message like some sort of bizarre crossword puzzle that spirit loves to send me. So in this song that quite frankly was an anthem of my teenage years, hard to believe I was 15 in 1995. Di Franco sings about the phoenix and then my phone just stops. So I go to that point of the song to hear the message.... but first things first, here is what the internet says about the phoenix.
According to Greek and Egyptian legend, the Phoenix is a magnificent creature that is a symbol of rebirth and renewal. Each Phoenix would live for 500 years before building a nest and setting itself on fire. Due to the fact that only one could live at a time another was supposed to take its place in the flames. The song of the phoenix is supposedly so beautiful that Apollo would stop his chariot and the rising sun to listen. (Basic myth info from birdnote.org)
Image source: Lightworker Oracle by Alana Fairchild
As a spirit sign it is the ultimate symbol of strength and renewal. Whenever we see this mystical animal, in addition to rebirth and renewal, it represents progress, renewal of time, and a period of happiness and good fortune. My favourite meanings are eternity and break from oppression.
So what does this have to do with anything? Let us do a deep dive into the lyrics, I am high lighting the bits where I felt a jolt which ended up being most of the song.
Squint your eyes and look closer
I´m not between you and your ambition
I am a poster girl with no poster
I am 32 flavours and then some.
I'm beyond your peripheral vision so you might want to turn your head
Cuz someday your gonna get hungry and eat most of the words you just said....
Still there are many who have turned off their porch lights just so I would think they are not home and hid in the dark of the windows until I passed and left them alone.....
And God help you if you are a phoenix
and dare to rise up from the ash,
a thousand eyes will smoulder with jealousy
and you are just flying past
I never try to give my life meaning by demeaning you
I would like to state for the record that I did the best I could do.....
I feel like this is a powerful reminder that we should embrace our complexity ourselves and not wait for others to figure out that we are unique. Much easier said than done, but I myself fall into that trap of worrying what others think about me and defining myself by the lens that they view me through. In truth, we need to care about how we see ourselves and if we could only tap into how amazing our guides think we are we would not struggle so much with identity. We have to ask ourselves: do we have an identity we love and accept or do we form our identity by the limited or even negative opinion of others? Do those others walk out path with us? If the answer is no then why do we care? Many of us are figuring out how to break free. We all have different cages holding us back, but we have to break out and fall. Trust and believe, I get angry as hell when I fall, and my guides are like we did our best to help you but we cannot live your life for you. No matter what happens, somebody somewhere will not be the president of your fan club. So ask yourself this, can you live with that? If the answer is yes, embrace that phoenix symbol and fly on past the opinions of those that are married to the idea of misunderstanding you.
Don't worry I will probably print and laminate this blog for the next time I fall down and forget I need to be a phoenix, just remember the phoenix can burn over and over but if we are lucky and listen to our intuition and guides it won't be an initiation by fire every month. Hopefully we will come out of the inferno a little wiser about what is best for our life journey. Remember, if you can, your spirit team wants you to stop hanging out with people that turn off the porch light.
Look in the mirror and say
I deserve to be here.
I break free from the opinion of others.
I send those who are determined to misunderstand me on their way.
I am ready to walk a path apart from those who hurt me in word and deed.
I am a phoenix
I have meaning without demeaning others
I live with love for myself
And so it is.
Wishing you the light and strength of a phoenix,